One of the most common thinking traps in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is “should
statements.” These are rigid expectations people place on themselves, others, or the world
around them. While they may seem harmless, they often lead to frustration, judgment, and
disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A counselor recently shared an experience that illustrates this well.
During a family trip to an amusement park, he noticed two brothers arguing while waiting in line.
Their mother and grandmother stepped in to calm the situation, while the father stood quietly
nearby. Watching from a distance, he found himself thinking, “He should be helping. Why isn’t
he doing anything?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later that afternoon, he saw the same family again during lunch. As they stood to leave, he
noticed the father was partially paralyzed and struggled just to stand and walk.
In an instant, every assumption disappeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He realized he had created an entire story without knowing the whole picture.
This is exactly how “should” statements work. Our minds naturally fill in missing information, and
those assumptions can quickly become judgments. The more attached people become to how
others should act, the less likely they are to approach situations with curiosity and
understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A simple question can interrupt this pattern:
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“What might I not know?”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the most common thinking traps in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is “shouldstatements.” These are rigid expectations people place on themselves, others, or the worldaround them. While they may seem harmless, they often lead to frustration, judgment, anddisappointment. A counselor recently shared an experience that illustrates this well.During a family trip to an amusement […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":100,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":101,"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions\/101"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newaimcounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
That shift in thinking creates space for empathy instead of criticism.
CBT teaches that thoughts influence emotions, and emotions influence behavior. By recognizing
and challenging rigid “should” statements, people can replace judgment with curiosity,
strengthen relationships, and respond with greater compassion.
Sometimes the greatest change doesn’t come from changing another person\u2014it comes from
changing the story we tell ourselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"